I Know What to Do, But I’m Not Doing It: Why Good Advice Isn’t Enough

I Know What to Do, But I’m Not Doing It: Why Good Advice Isn’t Enough

We’ve All Been There…

You know what would help: more sleep, less scrolling, better meals, regular movement. You’ve read the articles. You’ve had the pep talks. Maybe a friend or even a therapist has said, “You just need to start.”

And yet—you’re not doing it.

If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not flawed. You’re human. The gap between knowing and doing isn’t about willpower—it’s about psychology.


The “Knowing-Doing Gap” Is Real

It has a name: the knowing-doing gap. This term is used in both psychology and behavioral science to describe the frustrating disconnect between what we know is helpful and what we actually do.

For example:

  • You know walking helps with stress—but you still skip it.
  • You know late-night scrolling disrupts sleep—but your thumb keeps scrolling.
  • You know journaling helps you process emotions—but that notebook stays empty.
  • The issue isn’t the quality of the advice. It’s that advice alone doesn’t address what’s really getting in the way.

So… What Is Getting in the Way?

Let’s unpack some of the most common hidden barriers:

1. Emotional Resistance

You might want to eat better, exercise, or set boundaries—but deep down, there’s fear, shame, or even grief tangled up in the process.

“If I start taking care of myself, will I fail again?”
“What if this doesn’t help either?”
“I don’t feel like I deserve to feel better.”

These emotions often live below the surface, but they silently hold us back. When we don’t address them, advice feels heavy—even threatening.


2. All-or-Nothing Thinking

You might think:

“If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother?”
“I’ll start Monday.”
“I missed one day, so I’ve already failed.”

This mindset turns progress into pressure. Instead of building habits slowly, we wait for the “perfect” moment—which rarely comes. Real change is messy, imperfect, and full of starts and stops.


3. Habit Memory Wins

Your brain loves shortcuts. The habits you’ve repeated—like reaching for snacks when stressed or watching TV late into the night—are wired into your brain through repetition.

Advice doesn’t rewire habits. Action does.

Changing habits means building new pathways, not just deleting old ones. That takes time, repetition, and self-compassion—not guilt.


4. Cognitive Overload

Chronic stress, burnout, or medical conditions can drain your brain’s ability to make good decisions. You might want to plan meals or go for a walk, but your brain is already overloaded by survival mode.

When your mental load is too heavy, your brain prioritizes comfort and ease—even if it contradicts your goals.


So What Actually Works?

If advice isn’t enough, what helps you bridge the gap from knowing to doing?

1. Start Tiny

Instead of overhauling your life, shrink your goal. Want to journal? Start with one sentence. Want to move more? Stretch for one minute.

Small actions reduce resistance. They also build momentum.

2. Pair It With a Cue

Our brains love routine. Link a new habit to something you already do.
Example: “After I brush my teeth, I’ll write one thing I’m grateful for.”

This approach, known as habit stacking, makes behavior change more automatic.

3. Make It Feel Good

Reward matters. If your goal feels like a chore, your brain will resist.
Can you listen to your favorite podcast while walking? Use a pretty notebook for journaling? Make your new habit emotionally rewarding.

4. Get Curious, Not Critical

When you don’t follow through, resist the urge to beat yourself up. Ask instead:

“What got in the way today?”
“What would make this easier tomorrow?”

This mindset shift—from judgment to curiosity—builds self-awareness and resilience.

5. Create Accountability (That Feels Safe)

Tell a friend, track your progress, or work with a coach or therapist. Accountability works best when it feels supportive, not shaming.

You’re Not Lazy—You’re Human

Let’s be clear: you’re not lazy, unmotivated, or incapable.
You’re dealing with stress, emotions, distractions, and habits—just like everyone else.

Behavior change isn’t about discipline. It’s about understanding how your mind works and setting yourself up for success one small step at a time.

So the next time you hear yourself say, “I know what to do, but I’m not doing it,” remember this:
You don’t need more advice.
You need more kindness, strategy, and small wins.